Nostalgia

A few things I miss:

• Harry Potter release parties.
• Not having to worry about car payments, loan payments, etc.
• The brioche-chocolate muffins I used to make for breakfast (recipe is in storage).
• Sunday brunch with the entire family at my grandparents' house.

What are some things you miss?

This post is part of Blogust, a challenge to post every day this August. For more information, post topics, or to sign up, see Beyond Elsewhere.

Miss Otis Regrets

There are people who say, "I don't want to live with any regrets." Personally, I think anyone who doesn't regret anything is either a major asshole or a shut-in. Everyone makes mistakes; everyone is occasionally selfish or reacts out of fear or anger. Not regretting your mistakes simply means you don't learn from them.

I think my biggest regrets have to do with not taking advantage of opportunities when they presented themselves. When I was a senior in high school, I was accepted into one of the top liberal arts colleges in the country, but I let other people bully me into staying at home and going to our local university. Now that I'm older, I realize the opportunities I would have had with a degree from a college like that, and I get very upset with myself for not going for it. I don't blame the people who discouraged me--it's totally my fault for not following my dream, because going to that college WAS my dream at the time.

I really think the decision to not go to my dream college started a domino effect in my life. I made a lot of choices that I wouldn't have otherwise because of it, many of them not all that great.

On the other hand, I'm glad that's my only major regret in life so far.

Eat Pray Love Moment

"The Verdant Bough" by Stuck In Customs

Three years ago, I was 28 years old, and I thought I knew where I was going with my life--I was going to get my Ph.D. and be professor. Although, to be fair, I had my doubts even then about this plan, I was nevertheless sticking to it. Because staying in school is easier than getting a job? Possibly.

Then I actually taught, and found some other jobs, and I realized a few things: one, I do not have the patience for teaching. I realize the challenges I face in the classroom are the same ones other teachers face, but I'm just not equipped to deal with those challenges. Instead of getting better at handling them, I get worse. And two, art history didn't really interest me the way it used to. Not that it was ever my passion, mind--that was reading and books. But I did like to learn about it. Nowadays putting more art history stuff in my brain feels like a major effort.

Essentially, because I didn't listen to that little inner voice that was telling me I needed to do some major rethinking, I had a mini-breakdown and completely checked out of school and work. Yes, I went a little Elizabeth Gilbert, except I didn't get travel or do anything fun.

Now, physically and financially I'm in almost the exact same place, but emotionally and directionally I'm a little lost.

Have you ever had to change careers or goals, and how did you deal with it?



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Where Do You See Yourself in 10 Years?

Image credit: "The Labyrinth," Chris KWM

I personally hate being confronted with this question. I have trouble planning a week ahead, let alone years. Not to mention, with certain variables like possible apocalypses coming up, who can really say?

I think these questions are also based on a fallacy of thinking that life is linear you can anticipate going from point A to point C. When in fact, life is more like a labyrinth. You can travel what seems like a long ways and find yourself in nearly the same place you started, or in a completely different place than you expected.

I have no idea where I'll be in ten years. I certainly have hopes for where I'll be (or at the very least, not be), and I have things I'd like to do during that time, but no idea where that will take me. Wherever it is, though, I hope to be surprised!

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