Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Self-Publishing: Keeping It Real

self publishing
Self-publishing: not as difficult as it used to be.

I've seen a lot of posts by authors, most of them moving from traditional- to self-publishing, giving advice for newbies on how to self-publish. This usually includes a dizzying array of things that you "need," like a professional editor, cover designer, and a person who designs the layout of your eBook.

Oooookay. Slow down, crazy. Look, if you want a fancy font in your ebook or whatever, fine, but keep in mind you have to pay someone to do this for you. And from my personal experience, layout experts don't do anything you can't do yourself by following the how-to directions on the help pages of the major self-pub sites. Honestly. You just need to keep it simple. Use a basic font (I use American Typewriter on Pages), use page or section breaks between chapters, and apply a hyperlinked Table of Contents. If you want graphic headers for your chapters, multiple fonts, and drop down letters, then yes, you should probably hire someone for that. But why would you want to? Readers don't care, they just want a good story; and with eReaders' ability to change fonts and font size, I honestly think this is a waste of time and energy, not to mention an expense that I can practically guarantee you will not recoup if you're a first-time author. The point of selling your books IS to make money, and that means minimizing expenses. Just give the money you'd spend on "professional" formatting to a charity if you can't stand the thought of being frugal; it will go to better use.

Another thing new self-pub'ers are told is that they need professional editing. I 100% agree. Put on your editing pants and make sure your book is as polished as it can possibly be. Read in it paper, on an eReader--preferably even multiple eReaders--and on your computer. If you have writing or editing buddies who are willing to swap manuscripts with you, that's even better. But professional editing, while a very valuable thing, is correspondingly expensive, and again you will probably not be able to recoup that cost. Also again, I've seen self-published books that are riddled with errors and problems with continuity, etc., and were supposedly professionally edited. If so, those editors took the authors for a ride. (Incidentally, my books were edited by a friend of mine at reduced cost, and I still haven't earned back what I spent on it, so I know of what I speak.) Authors and publishers will tell you you need editing, but then they'll also say they expect a "perfect, ready-to-be-published" manuscript when you submit to them. So either writers are capable of producing publishable material on their own without any editing, or they NEED an editor. Which is it? Once you start making money on your self-published books, this might be a justifiable expense; but starting out you need to think about cutting costs to get as much return on the investment of your time and writing as possible.

The third thing that people will tell you is necessary is professional cover design. Again, I agree. The cover is the number one selling point for any book and not everyone is artistic or visual. In fact, I think if there was one thing I would recommend people spend money on when they self-pub, it would be the cover. HOWEVER, again, this is a big expense. Do you have about three hundred dollars to throw around? If so, go ahead and hire a cover designer. If you're anything like me, though, you don't. I have a degree in art and am reasonably versed in how to use Photoshop, so I design my own covers. Could they be better? Yes, probably, but I'm satisfied with them. If designing a cover scares you, simply put the title and the author name on a plain background and use that. It will be better than the placeholder image and once you have some money to spare, you can hire a professional designer. Keep in mind, though, that just hiring a designer does not guarantee a salable cover, especially in the world of eBooks and self-publishing. It needs to work as a thumbnail and in grayscale (for more on this, see Joe Konrath's excellent post, How to Sell eBooks).

I understand the demand for professional standards, and I definitely am not saying that you, as the author and publisher of your book, shouldn't aim for those standards. YOU SHOULD. But if you're self-publishing, you're not a professional, and that's okay. You need to be realistic about what can do and what you can afford. An established author going into self-publishing, like Joe Konrath, already has a fan base and can afford to hire people to do the things authors generally don't feel comfortable doing. But if you're just starting out, you probably won't make enough to recoup those costs. Just try your best and remember why you want to publish in the first place--to tell a story, to communicate and connect with people. Your book may not be perfect, but if it fulfills the vision you have for it, that's the most important thing.



Further Reading:



Incidentally, if you need any help on formatting or covers, I'm more than happy to help. Just send me an e-mail (ellis drake author [at] gmail) or leave a question in the comments.


Sunday, February 17, 2013

New Release: THE ASPEN HOUSE by Ellis Drake!

the aspen house cover

My latest release, The Aspen House, is up on Amazon now, and I hope you'll all take a look at it! It's about a young woman named Miranda who lands a job as a personal chef to rock star, Michael de Bracy, while he detoxes at a mountain retreat. Sounds like a dream job, doesn't it? Unfortunately, de Bracy's companions make the retreat anything but relaxing; and then one of them goes crazy during a snow storm and hacks three people to death! Now Michael and Miranda have to find out who the killer is before they become the next victims.

Here's a short excerpt:


Miranda was cheerfully munching on a facefull of marshmallow chocolatey goodness when she heard a voice behind her ask, “Do I smell toasted marshmallow?” She turned to see Michael de Bracy and Val walking toward them, de Bracy wearing nothing but a pair of loose jean shorts.
He collapsed down cross-legged next to Miranda and rested his arms on his upraised knees. “You look like you’re enjoying that,” he observed.
It took Miranda a few seconds of chewing and swallowing to get to where she could talk. “I am,” she agreed, a conversational riposte that was totally worth the wait.
“You have some chocolate...” Michael de Bracy made gesture encompassing his entire face, and they both started laughing.
“Hey, Mike, glad to see you’re joining us,” JJ said, right before smearing some marshmallow into Blaine Torf’s perfectly groomed hair.
“What the...!” Torf shouted, leaping to his feet. “I should have known. You do that again and I’ll form a Congressional committee to investigate the entertainment industry.”
“Please,” JJ snorted. “If you knew anything about me, you’d know I work for the FBI.” Torf tried to slap his s’more into JJ’s face, but JJ knocked his arm away.
“Stop,” Cynthia shouted, looking nervous.
“Real mature, dudes,” Val added, handing a fondue fork to de Bracy and sitting on his other side. “C’mon, man, let’s roast some ‘mallows.”
De Bracy’s eyes turned from the fight between Blaine and JJ to Vivienne. As soon as he saw her lying on the couch, his mouth compressed and the veins on his neck stood out.
“Viv, honey? Did you want some marshmallows?” His voice grated with tension, even though he was clearly trying to make the words sound gentle.
Everyone in the room froze. JJ and Torf immediately stopped their horsing and subsided onto the carpet, their s’mores melting all over their hands. Vivienne turned her head to look at de Bracy and stared at him with a dreamy, unfocused expression.
Michael made a move as if to get up, but Val pushed him back down. “You tired, Viv?” he cooed, as if speaking to a baby. “Let’s get you to bed.”
As Val helped Vivienne up and guided her from the room, de Bracy stared into the fire, his brows lowered, shoulders hunched, and one hand clenched whitely around his fondue fork.

Hmm, sounds ominous! Put the fondue fork down, Michael.


Monday, February 11, 2013

Be the Hero of Your Own Story

The other day I was watching House Hunters International, as I do every day during my lunch break, and they had THE GREATEST EPISODE EVER. Picture it: a writer, who wants to buy a second home in Paris. She can afford to do so! On a 1.25 million dollar budget.

TO REPEAT: A WRITER WHO CAN AFFORD TO PAY 1.25 MILLION DOLLARS FOR AN APARTMENT IN PARIS. This is more amazing to me than the fact that Patricia Cornwell owned a helicopter. Tell me how this is done, Jedi master. Fortunately, she does! At the end of the episode, the hunter of houses advises, "Be the hero of your own story."

I've been thinking about that a lot ever since. I don't think women are generally taught to be the protagonists of their own lives. I was reading a post several weeks ago that I can't find (I tried, sorry) by a theater director talking about how many plays submitted to her by women writers feature female characters that don't DO anything to drive the narrative, they merely react to the things that happen. The writer of the post pointed out that authors often create main characters that are a reflection of themselves, and this level passivity in the work of women causes her to worry that women too often don't take steps to make themselves happy.

That's an assessment that I would generally agree with, even in my own work and in my own life. Despite the fact that I read and write a lot of fiction, I never thought of my life in the context of a story before; or if I did it was as a character and not the narrator. The character can't see the end goal of the story while the narrator can.

I'm still working out how to be the hero[ine] of my own story, but I think it's great advice and something I'll be thinking about for a long while.


Further Reading:



Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Internet Fame in Fifteen Minutes

Andy Warhol once said that in the future everyone will get fifteen minutes of fame, and the internet has made that a more prescient prediction than ever. In the peripatetic, fish bowl world of the internet, anyone can become "famous" and then just as quickly forgotten. From a blogger's perspective, what does this teach us about fame and success?

Lesson 1: Effort does not equal reward. The most comments I ever got on a post (100+, obviously I'm not very famous) were for something where I basically reposted a link my mom had forwarded to me in an e-mail. All I wrote was, "Hey guys, check out this amazing story my mom sent me." Hundreds of comments! Meanwhile, the essay I spent hours working on? Two comments. I think most bloggers have experienced something like this at some point. The amount of work and thought you put into something doesn't mean anything to the people who consume it. Does that mean you should stop putting effort into your posts? That's a question you'll have to answer for yourself. But a philosopher might say you need to put your all into something and at the same time not think about it too much.

Lesson 2: The world is run by a few people. You might have thought you didn't have to worry about popular kids after high school, but the fact is that there are "popular kids" on the internet. For whatever reason, these people have more followers and influence than you'll ever have. The key to getting a lot of hits or sales lies in attracting the notice of these people. That post I mentioned earlier? It only got a ton of comments because a person with tons of followers--who actually did what he told them to; weird--recommended it. Just remember the rule of playing with popular kids is similar on the internet as in high school: don't forget your loyal readers and don't get used to hundreds of comments.

Lesson 3: Enjoy it. When success comes along, it can really surprise you, especially if you feel you didn't do anything to deserve it. NO ONE does anything to "deserve" success or fame; it's a lot of chance. Think of famous people you know--even if they do work their asses off, there are dozens of people behind them working twice as hard who never get noticed and might never achieve success. At least have the grace to be thankful for your success when it comes along, for those people if not for yourself.


This completely random post was brought to you by too much thinking.

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Ways In Which Ripper Street Is Exactly Like Copper

matthew macfadyen in ripper street




  • The only reason you started watching it was because you think the actor who plays the main detective character is hot.
  • But the only character you actually like is the medical examiner.
  • All the female characters are literally whores...
  • ...except for one "proper lady" who will probably turn out to be a metaphorical whore as the series goes on.
  • Hot detective guy is scarred (literally/metaphorically) from his past.
  • Hot detective guy is estranged from his wife, you don't know why, and you don't really care.
  • They both take place in bad neighborhoods, which is TVSpeak for "gritty crime drama."

Friday, February 1, 2013

Article In Femnista



I'm pleased to announce I have an article in Femnista this month about Rafael and La Fornarina's tragic love story, which I also discuss in my novel, The Fornarina Affair. I would be honored if you were to read it!

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Master Art Criminals

apollinaire/></a><a href=picasso

I was watching a TED talk the other day by Noah Charney, an art historian and the founder of ARCA, about art crime. Briefly, he mentioned that there are not a lot of "master art criminals" as we see on TV and in the movies (shocker), but one of the few examples he could think of was Picasso. I actually mention this in my current work in progress, too. But what happened? Why is Picasso a "master art criminal?"

I'm not a big fan of Picasso. He was a spiritual vampire and he didn't have an original bone in his body. What he did have going for him was that he had great taste in art and could remember and recreate practically anything he saw. Max Ernst once advised that if Picasso visits your studio you should hide your best work, or you'll see it in a gallery with Picasso's name on it by the end of the week.

But Picasso's "art theft" wasn't just contained to other artists' ideas. Both he and the famous poet Guillaume Apollinaire habitually bought artifacts stolen from the Louvre, going so far as to order their favorite pieces (they knew a guy). When the Mona Lisa was stolen in 1911, both men were brought in for questioning as "the usual suspects." Eventually they were released, as they really hadn't stolen the Mona Lisa; and as a bonus they got to keep their pilfered artifacts. French justice right there, my friends!

Apollinaire and Picasso are probably a far cry from what most people think of when it comes to glamorous, habitual art thieves, but they do share some traits with fictional characters like Thomas Crown: they knew their stuff and recognized quality, and they were more along the lines of collectors who acquired stuff in a morally questionable manner than criminals per se. When it comes to Picasso and Apollinaire, I agree with Charney that they're probably are the closest real-life examples we have to the master art thieves of fiction.



Further Reading: